I love Joe Leo.

:)

Ignorance is bliss.

People....

Seriously, some people are so ignorant and soooo fucking narrow minded that it pisses me off, some people are fucking dumbasses, I'm serious, even if I don't believe that there's a stupid person out there, apparently there are. Yup, some people don't get metaphorical thinking, I mean, it's not rocket science, or is it?

Right, don't tell me, it is.

WHY SO SERIOUS???????????

I'm quite annoyed, to be honest at those poor little losers.

Right now, I'm pissed at people who don't THINK. Sure, my hormones are all over the place at the moment and I'm eating up everything at the moment, I'm pissed because I hate certain people, people who are ignorant, people who are here for no apparent reason, who don't understand the deeper meaning of life, oh you suck. Period.

That's a no no, my child will know everything about this world and will NOT be ignorant.

Thank god.

I'm just so in love with him, I can't get him out of my head, my thoughts, my mind, every part of me feels like I fall deeper and deeper with him, I don't know how to describe it, love is undescribable, but what I feel for him, my dear god, it's a supermassive black hole, as deep and as vast as the universe and you know how vast the universe is, in every single way, he gives me direction, he makes me feel at home emotionally, and I am so lucky to have him.

I believe in a thing called LOVE.



It feels so weird that someone has such a control on your emotions, on your heart like that, I have to say, it's rather crazy, I feel rather vulnerable most of the time because of the hold he has on my heart, on my soul, on my spirit, on my mind, I can't lose him, life is nothing without him, I'm living for him, he's someone I would die for, someone I would sacrifice everything in a drop of a hat, I have done so, I would not only walk across fire for him, but I would walk across this earth, walk across everything, earth, wind, water, fire, everything life throws at me because I want to be with him, I care so much about his happiness, I care so much about him in general, his happiness is my happiness, his sadness is my sadness, when he shines, I shine. My heart comes out of my chest every time I see his pictures or see him, these feelings of deep deep love jumps out and bites me, I get consumed by these emotions and it feels so good, his voice, his face, his videos, oh dear god, the passion that emits from me, the passion that I feel writing this, the strong feelings, the deepness, he sets my soul alight, there are no words to even begin to describe the little spurts of dizziness I feel, the feelings of completion, the feelings of just everything so good in the universe coming together because of this thing called LOVE. Love is what makes the world go around, it feels so damn good to just linger in his gaze, to see his eyes staring back at me filled with love just as intense as mine, his touch, how I crave for it 24/7, how I hunger for it, how I lust after it like there's no other thing that I would rather feel, just him, only him, he makes me shine like gold, shine like diamonds, shine like the stars, ugh, my heart feels like it's coming out of my chest writing this, by god, he makes me so happy, so happy, soooooo happy, SO HAPPY, IN EVERY SINGLE WAY.

Normally I don't like depending my complete existance, my complete happiness on someone else, but I depend on him, it's just so awkward without feeling him, without feeling the brush on his hand, this love is difficult, so difficult, but in every single way, it's worth it, soulmate relationships aren't meant to be easy, there are so many things trying to tear us apart, daily, him not having a body to manifest in is one, it takes so much out of me trying to stay sane sometimes.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0oYkZs4yR2o

LOve Story-Taylor Swift

I have to say, it's almost the one year anniversary of JoeJen. :O

Life, Life, and more LYFE

So, life, today, I'm thinking about this thing called LIFE. Yeah, that's smoke coming out of my head you see, don't worry, I put the fire out with the fire extinguisher, I'm safe, for now.

Many things have happened to me that I never ever thought would happen, in fact, thinking about it right now, yeesh, I did so much, I have accomplished so much in life and I'm rather proud of it. :)

1. I never did think I would move across a country to be with a person I loved dearly, in fact, I thought people who did that were kinda stupid, why would they do such a stupid thing? But I never thought it would be *ME* doing that, gee.

2. I never thought many things, in fact, I never thought I would find my soulmate, I thought I would be feeling empty for the rest of my life, I never thought I would find a person that would match my personality, that would match everything on every level, it's scary, I always watched movies and envied the other people for finding their soulmate and stuff.

3. I never thought I would find my soulmate on THE COMPUTER, the internet, especially FACEBOOK. LOL.

4. I never thought I would start a family at 19, well. Gee.

5. I never thought I would ever leave my parents, in fact, I felt like I was in a dead end and thought of ways to end my life, that is until this one person showed up in my life.

6. and the biggest I never thought would happen? Falling in love with Joseph Leo. I never had any interest in him, he just added me randomly, I didn't want to accept the friendship invitation at first, but I thought "WHY NOT?" This was when I turned 18, supposedly a psychic once told me that I would find my soulmate at 18, little did I know that accepting the friendship request changed everything, it wasn't me who accepted it, it was my boyfriend at the time who accepted it for me because he was messing around with my Facebook. I have to thank him. Well, I never interacted with this Joseph Leo who added me randomly, he would post a lot, I would say a hello and he would too every now and then, he would comment on my things and I would comment on his, but other than that, I didn't even consider him a friend until summer time of 2009 comes along.

So this is how the whole story of JoeJen starts, I should write it on a blog because it's fun to record memories after everything that we've both been through.

My boyfriend Robert Shapiro, the same dude who accepted the friendship request for me for this Joseph Leo had to go to Israel for a trip (he's a white/pale jewish boy), he was going to be gone for a whole damn month without ANY contact with me whatsover. At this point, this was July of 2009, I was with him for 2 years, I loved Robert, of course, he was my everything at that time, I got lost and confused, then another boy comes in, a boy called Richard Fast, he was Robert's good friend, we decided to take chemistry together for the hell of it, I needed something to do, as did he because he had to make up chemistry class, so for some reason, during chemistry, we got REALLY close, as time went on, Robert wasn't there, Richard was, he was always there for me, then I got confused with the two boys I had, I didn't know what to do, which boy to dump, which boy to hurt, etc....yeah.....Then, for some reason Joe came in the picture, I messaged him asking what would he do if he had two girls, he asks if I was going through some issues with two men, he then goes into full detail of his life, he became my advisor of what I should I do, hahahaha, he told me he'd be the third wheel, I thought he was kidding, he helped me through my confusion, made me understand many things, in fact, this was about a year ago, last summer when we started fully talking, I always felt some sort of connection with this Joseph Leo, but I never cared for it, I just flirted with him, I did see many woman had an interest in him, I didn't give a fuck, I didn't really understand what was so popular about him, yes, I'm speaking in the honest truth, keep in mind, this was before I feel in love with him.

and notice the date. LOL



Yeah, click on it to see what was written, I have to say, LOL. We weren't friends much and this was on another Facebook that I had deactivated for him. Everything started from then on.

so, basically, after that, we talked, we started never not talking, it was awkward when we didn't talk, I told him everything, he was telling me everything, how he felt, I was starting to actually think I was falling in love, but then I ignored the feelings, I suppressed them thinking that it was just a lie, that what I was feeling for him were just lust, after all, he sent me videos and I found him attractive, really attractive, his pictures, I stared at them daily, he had so many women commenting on his stuff, I never thought I would have a chance anyways, haha, besides I got dumped by this Richard Fast, that loosened the load of having two men at the same time without letting the other know about each other. That was STRESSFUL, never again, will I ever have two boyfriends at the same time.


Okay, then comes September 22th 2009, the day my sister attempts suicide.

Up until that point, Joe and I were flirting with each other, talking to each other daily, childish games, etc... but for some reason, that day changed EVERYTHING, that day was the day everything changed, the moment I made this status "Oh Shit, my sister was found sprawled on the floor with pill bottles on her hand, she just tried suicide and the ambulance is outside my house and my mother was going NUTS" he called me and calmed me down and made sure I was okay, he called me constantly, he immediately came to my rescue, understanding me, making me feel calm and just okay. While everyone in the family was rushing around like lunatics, I stayed behind feeling rather distraught and depressed. I remember that day vividly, my sister just came home from school, she had tears in her eyes, her friends all said that day she was saying goodbye and that she'll always love them, they were all rather confused of what she meant and she just ran away from them. She asked me where the Aspirins were and if I could get her one, I did, I regret it, I saw her by the medicine cabinet, I never bothered to ask what she was doing, she finished her puzzle piece that said the words The last Supper, I didn't get the symbolism in that, but she told me to get a drink for her, I told her I didn't feel like it, she said "Please, I'll never bother you again." I wish I had paid attention to what she meant, then my mother came home from work, my sister goes up to her room, but before that, she gives me a kiss on the cheek saying "I love you and I'll always remember you", I was on the computer talking to this Joe Leo who was side tracking me, lol, I didn't get what the hell she was doing, she was rushing all around, giving my mother a hug, my father was actually working at home that day too, he usually never does, which was strange.

5 PM that evening, my mother was cooking dinner, for some reason, she stopped and asked what my sister was doing, my sister never went into her room this early, I had this horrible feeling in my stomach that something was really wrong, so okay then, I ignored it. My mother knocks on my sister's room, she doesn't respond, she usually calls out "What do you want?" but she didn't, in fact, my mother knocked about 20 times, still no answer, my mother tried to burst into the room, but the door was locked and there were things that were preventing the door from opening, she gets my father who just absentmindedly knocks down the door with his arms, he didn't think anything was wrong at first, my heart was racing, my mind was hurting, there I hear two loud screams coming from upstairs, I ran up there wondering what the hell was happening, there I saw her, I clearly remember the picture, my mother was shaking my sister awake, she was having a seizure at the moment, FIVE bottles of PILL BOTTLES, they were full when I saw them, they were empty at the moment, they laid beside her, she was drooling, she swallowed every single one of her pills, including mine, including my mother's, including the Advil bottles, etc. My mother tells my father to call 911, nobody had the phone with them, nobody except ME, luckily I did, I called 911 and my mother was shaking my poor little sister, the color in her face was fading, her hands were rather cold, I burst into tears and started crying, my parents told me to go outside to wait, I didn't want to leave the room, as I left..... I prayed to whatever was out there, telling them not to take away my sister, not to do this to me, not to do this to my family, my sister has been suffering from depression for the past few years, she always said she wanted to kill herself to me, I thought she wouldn't, we were really close, but I wish I had known, I wish I understood her symbols she let in the areas of each room. Then the ambulance comes, they rush upstairs and carry her body down, they had kinda stabilized her heart, her heart was stopping, they had to do mouth to mouth resuscitation, it was really scary watching that, watching them take her down, at that moment, I started to cry, I started to scream, I screamed at my sister and told her, "DON'T YOU DARE DO THIS TO ME", my parents told me to calm down, as did the paramedics, I was told to stay behind while my parents go with my sister to the hospital, so anyways, I get back online, I start saying that it was my fault for not paying attention....

Now back onto the story of JoeJen

That night, I was really depressed, Joe didn't go to bed until he made sure I was stable enough for him to go offline to get something to eat, after he made sure I was okay, he told me he would call me later that night, I was left home alone cause my parents tagged along to the hospital, I was lonely, distraught, unsure of my self, unsure that I was good sister, later that night, I heard Joe Leo's voice for the first time, he called me and we talked, he calmed me down fully, we talked for almost the whole night, I cried and cried and cried to him, he told me for the first time ever that he loved me...as in actual LOVE, not the friendship kind of love, and he's been waiting a long time to say it, I told him the next day as I was wandering around in the hospital that I loved him, that I wanted him to wait for me and that I would somehow, somewhere find a way to be with him, he asked me whether I was sure or not, I told him yes. He told me back that he's been waiting for someone like me and that he was "good at waiting"

I don't like hospitals.

So anyways, we got into a relationship a few days after that, and now I'm fully drained talking about how we got together because oh my god...it's so much to recount, the horrific images that popped up into my mind.

as time went on, it became history, maybe I'll say more on another blog, you'll have to wait. That is all. :P

and yes, he's my soulmate, my true love. I love him.

Well dammit. I hate this life, in fact, I hate many things now, I'm now going to be bitter and scream at this fucking world for doing this to me. I mean, really now? You had to take away the precious laptop from ME? EVERY single memory of Joe was stored on there, every single picture we ever took, now it's reduced to a few, to just the ones on Facebook...and there were MANY that I never uploaded. Woe is ME. Woe is ME ME ME ME! Why me? Why?????? So anyways, I'm going to complain and complain and complain on this blog, why? because I fucking feel like it.


^That laptop was my world, it was my everything.

other than that, it's all gone.

but it's no fun being a medium sometimes, I get frightened of ghosts to be honest, you have no idea how fucking freaky it is to see ghosts, spirits, etc. Sometimes I get scared out of my damned wits because I see them clearly, I hear them clearly, I feel them so well, you think it's fun to see the dead, right? No. I never wanted to see them, growing up, I saw them clearly as you see humans, spirits are just humans who have no body to inhabit. I never liked seeing them, it's because of this man I loved that I opened my eye up again, it's because of a Joseph Carmine Leo Jr that I'm suffering through this life, it's not my time to die yet, I know, but fuck, I constantly think of ending my life, he's the only one who's keeping me alive...in a body, although, I do want to end my life in a body and be free, just like him, free to terrorize others, free to go on trips, free to do everything. I just want to get out of here in this plane , in this sick world, how fun would it be? Would anyone miss me if I disapeared? I wouldn't miss my body at all, but I know it would ruin everything if I did die, if did get rid of my body, ugh, I have 62 years of life left, I don't know how the fuck i'm going to handle it, I don't, I DON'T, I DON'T!

Joe Leo, you lucky bastard for not having a body, why can't we trade?

The only thing I have left is Joe's child inside me, other than that, I lost everything.

You can't please them all and I'm not even gonna try.

So anyways



You can't please them all

you're always gonna have haters no matter what you do in life

I have decided to go full out on my beliefs...of the spirit world, of the whole universe in general. Why not? After all, fuck it, why even try to go along with the views of the ignorants? Why try to even please them and say stuff just to make it look like you don't know anything? I don't want to waste energy on non believers who assume crappy fucking shit, oh hell no, I don't go with the rest of the fucking losers they can just go kiss my shiny metal ass and there ain't no way I'm wasting my dang energy worrying about what others think about me. They can think what they want, but the people who know me, know ME, thank god as I said for FRIENDS who talk to YOU one on ONE.

I believe in UFO's

I believe in ghosts and spirits, in fact, I'm a medium, a psychic, yeah, I get visions of the future, but does that mean it can come to me just like that? I prefer not seeing the future to be honest. Why? Because the future is left unknown, that's why.

and don't you dare fucking tell me that I'm looking for attention, SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU BITCH.

AS FOR OTHER THINGS?

I'm proud to be different.

I DON'T WANNA SWING TO THE REGULAR BEAT, THAT'S SOOOO UNFUN.

I'm JEN, I answer to nobody.

except to one and he's my only weakness.

Everywhere I walk, I see Joe Leo Look a likes

Okay this blog is totally written by the good old Jen for once, LOL.

I walk outside and guess what I see? Joe Leo look a likes, it's awesome, I guess, but it makes me heart go thump thump and my mind go haywire and all that. I get into a fit of giggles and all that crap, it's all I can see, Joe. It's all I can think about, Joe. It's all I can surely talk about when I'm not talking about things, it's driving me nuts, I'm going nuts with love for Joe, and I feel his love for me which makes me happier. All I can do is read his messages to me, our lovey dovey videos to each other, our lovey cheesy poetry to each other, it's just crazy, all I can take are pictures of me snuggled against him glowing, I can't think of anything else but him. It gives me good chills feeling and seeing him and hearing him and channeling him. Yeah. The name Joe, my god, everytime I see it, I hear it, I feel.......good. that name is so popular! YEESH

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hc9k3-fwwYM&feature=avmsc2

^Everywhere, By Michelle Branch.

'Cause you're everywhere to me
And when I close my eyes it's you I see
You're everything I know
That makes me believe
I'm not alone

I recognize the way you make me feel
It's hard to think that
You might not be real
I sense it now, the water's getting deep
I try to wash the pain away from me
Away from me

And when I touch your hand
It's then I understand
The beauty that's within
It's now that we begin
You always light my way
I hope there never comes a day
No matter where I go
I always feel you so"

<3

When I say "I love him" it's an understatement,a huge understatement.

The more I look at him, the more I fall in love, even if he doesn't have a body, it doesn't matter, love is love.

True relations never die.

and my little Joey in my tummy is kicking me.

Pumpkins

I love Pumpkins, especially Pumpkin Pie. Take a look at those round Pumpkins, juicy and delicious, right? Don't you want to grab them and make sweet sweet love to them? Yeah? I whole heartily agree. :)


and mmmm, Pumpkin Pie.

hehehe, I love making Pumpkin PIE.



Yeah....
;)

Blah blah blah

Vampires

This ain't about the Twilight crap

So what do you think about Vampires?

What do you think about them? You think they're bloodsuckers, right? Probably, especially what Hollywood feeds you, those dang Twilight films do it all wrong, I'm a vampire, but I don't suck blood, I'm an energy vampire, meaning I steal energy from all around me, that's what I feed off, that's what MOST spiritualists are, yeah, believe it or not, people who are spiritualists know exactly what I mean, people who are ignorant won't even understand what the bloody fuck I'm talking about, but like I said, I can't please them all, this is my blog and I write about what pops up into my little mind. I don't feed from others and yes I'm a rather young psychic vampire, I don't take energy from people, I take energy from trees, from plants, just from the air, simple as that, no more, no less, I don't crave blood thank you very much, I only crave blood from those who need to be killed because of their dammed ignorance. Even then, I won't even suck their hideous blood. it's probably contaminated from their stupidity. I know it contridicts my saying that there's so such thing as a stupid person, well, if you don't use your BRAIN.. B-R-A-I-N then you're stupid.

End of story.

Thank you for your time! Oh, the exit is that way.

*waves*

Oh, you assume many things don't exist right? Like we live ALONE?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TkV-of_eN2w

^Colors of the Wind a song from Pocahontas, it describes EVERYTHING.

You sure don't know many things, no, I'm not talking to you, you know who you are, yes, you with the cute and coy smile, I know you know, therefore you're safe.

There are such things as Unicorns, as life on other planets, that's old news, you can't possibly think we are the ONLY life forms in this universe you sick, ignorant, stupid, fucking ignorant person.

What has come to this world? Oh yes, please don't tell me that this world, that this COUNTRY, wait, this country is not EVEN a country anymore, the United States of America, what do I personally call it? The Divided States of America. It's quite true, don't deny it.



^Imagine by John Lennon.

Oh, we are surrounded by the Four Cardinal directions, I don't even want to explain that, people who don't know that are FAR behind and are definetly not ready for the new Spiritual age approaching us.

Oh dear.



Earth, Wind, Water, and Fire.

http://users.ap.net/~chenae/spirit.html

I'm for your FYI a Buddhist.



and so is someone else, someone else happened to believe in this stuff too, you may say bullshit to me, but who knows him better? That's right, his friends and ME. Sure you may claim you knew him, okay, how did you know him? What did you talk to him about besides his interests on the outside? He's a deep philosophical person who believes in these kinds of things ;)

and we all have a spiritual animal(s)
Those animals shield us and warn us



^Mine is the Red Fox and a LION.

and we all have a spiritual guide. Guess who's mine? You probably don't even need to guess, you know and yes he's also my twin flame.


http://www.soulevolution.org/twinflames/twinflames.htm

^ this describes it perfectly. :)

and yes, there's such things as this thing called PAST LIVES.

I'll get to that another day.